Monday, December 15, 2008

A Godly wife fights with Santa about Global Warming and Evolution

Well I never thought I would be blogging about this's that time I guess. Okay let me start by saying I had the most hilarious Friday! I almost peed on myself with laughter at my cute husband. While laughing to tears I told him I wish I could have recorded this whole day. So I thought man I just as well here...this is not for the faint of heart, or men, or kids....proceed with caution or just throw caution to the wind, that is what I did when I posted this.

Okay now to the funny crap!~

This Friday I had a doctor's appointment to get a monitor put on my chest due to palpitations-that I have had for oh A YEAR AND 1/2 and not one doctor would due much about-to which I told them this last visit 'do something or lock me in a padded room'-I actually said that, to a doctor-probably not smart huh, but I just don't care anymore.

Sooo anyho I get into the room and the nurse is so into herself, which is fine if they must talk about their wretched lives to every Tom, Dick and Faith that comes in then by all means lay it on me...I should be a good Christian and listen right? So then in the middle of her ranting about her horse or cows or something she says "pull off your top..."

long pause

Then I try and evaluate where the robe thingy is she is suppose to give me, and then look at her like she should leave the room so I can dress into my retard suit that I can't find.

Long stares at one another..."oh you mean now...?"

Yep just pull it all off! Stupid fear starts to hit me when I remember...Oh dear God I am wearing my jeans...that are TOO SMALL!-and taking off my long top will reveal that!

"okay but here is the thing, I have gained about 10 pounds since buying these jeans I have on and I have a serious muffin top! SERIOUS!"

She rolls her eyes and says "oh girl I've seen it all"...BUT I DON"T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!

So in frustration I just fling my top off and say to heck with it.

So there I sat with my jeans that are probably 3 sizes too small, my muffin top that is 10 sizes too big, and what does she do,

stops to TALK

About what you say...I don't know because I was too busy trying to suck in my muffin top in and trying not slam her head into the bench I was sitting on. Man do some people not get how uncomfortable it is to suck in, sit up straight, and this, of course makes your boobs stick way out so then you look like your trying to show them off- ugh! Not to mention just the sheer fact that I was in my bra, talking to this lady about BS! Happy thought Happy thoughts

Okay so then I head off to the health food market to get a few things and then it hits me, the need to go potty! Man why now! They probably don't have a bathroom and I have so much to get! So I tried to hold it but, after much walking around I realized I just could not focus on shopping with this need to go, so I ask and sure enough they do have a potty room-yeah me. SO I race off to the potty and when I turn on the light guess who is staring back at me?

A mental patient!!!!!!!!!! With cords and patches on her upper chest, she looked quite scary!

Oh no wait it's me!

Yep the monitor things are sticking out of the top of my shirt making me look like I ran away from my Psycho ward!!!!

I realized maybe I could use this to my advantage. Like I should just twitch my head and act goofy just to really freak people out. You should have seen the looks I got the rest of the day...I think people did not know what to think of all that junk near my neck...I wonder what I would have thought?

Okay so then I head to my friends house to visit her and her new baby, where I was reminded a little bit of what it's like to have a new know the part where you boarder on being mentally retarded from lack of sleep and human interaction-where the only thing on your mind is poop, breast milk, and a strong desire for a bath. It was nice to visit. We talked about our past, drinking and drugs...what is so funny is that we are like the most straight, deep down Christians you will meet! We don't get drunk, we don't do drugs and yet...this is what we talked about. It was actually nice because it reminded me so much about how far God has taken me from that kind of life, and how much I really enjoy my new life with God, and Godly friends! We also talked about Santa, something that I realize some people need to understand about our family. For me I just can't lie to my children (or anyone) about anything.

Do you want to know why?

Because for years I was lied to by my spouse (old boyfriend), and that pain still affects how I act today! Finding out about Santa is one of my few memories of childhood-and I am one of those retards that remembers very little from my childhood-just ask my mom. Lying has hurt me in so many ways, that to this day I have a hard time trusting if people are being real with me.

I am not saying oh poor me, I am saying my kids will not hear a lie from me.

I just can't, even when it seems so 'innocent', it's really not. I know most people say oh I am sure you lie...and maybe to some I do but I try not to at ALL. About anything. Yes this means I tell people when I don't like their soup (only if they ask though...there is a difference between telling the truth and being rude) I always feel closer to those that are willing to tell me the truth, than say nothing or especially lie! It's just not right. How much closer will your children be to you if they know you were not willing to go with the popular census and lie to your child? Just a thought...

Well then after my visit with my friend my husband and I went out to do some shopping. That is our idea of a fun date, dinner and shopping...if it sounds pathetic it's really not, we love these dates!-We love being perfectly boring...seriously after cancer, life can not be more sweet than the little moments!

So we get to the end of our shopping trip and we decide on an item we want to get but we are unsure if it will fit into our car, so my husband and I are opening doors to the car and measuring the openings. I of course measure using my arm from my fist to my elbow.

Isn't that how you would measure?

"yep two arm lengths this way, and 3 that way." So we close the doors and head for the store.

To which my husband tells me: Don't forget this " two brown stripes past my nipples, and just above my knees"

Is that how most men measure stuff?

I burst into obnoxious laughter, oh the laughs and the stares! My husband unlike me who used her arm to measure the size of the opening...he used his nipples and knees...oh dear God is that not funny?

So, we get into the store and find the item, I put my arm up to it, looks like it will fit that way, so my husband turns it on it's side and sure enough he shoves his whole body into the looked like he was humping it! Bahahahaahahahahhaahahah, you can't make this kind of stuff up! this is where I just about peed on myself! I was laughing to hard I was crying. I know people were staring because I laugh loud! And he just kept putting his body up to the box...oh dear God! You should have been there! After a bit he started doing it just to see my laugh more...ahhh

what a fun date

So that was my hilariously fun Friday night! It still makes me giggle!

Okay now my Global Warming and Evolution issue, if you already agree that evolution and G.W. are a farce you don't have to read on. Otherwise I am bringing up some topics that I have been discussing with others on another blog. They asked me to give facts to support my theory.

I don't really give facts to support my theory...that is why it's a theory. However I am going to give facts to disprove their theory.

Bare with me I do not have a science degree, but my info comes from some super smarty pants scientist that do give facts.

Okay these are the websites where I got my info...if you want to know what they said you will have to look through all their research like I did (some are even on video's that you either can buy or rent from the library), it's extensive but worth the effort. They give facts to disprove evolution and global warming.

Does this mean I think it's okay to not be environmentally friendly? Absolutely not! I still think we impact our environment in negative ways, just not the climate/weather...or at least no one has proved it to me yet.


Global Warming:


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Notuh! I'm Right, YES I AM!!! Yes! Yes! I AM!

Okay most of you might have read my last post, well I want to add/take away from it. Yes I personally have a problem with Christmas,'s my personal problem and not in any way should I reflect that onto anyone. To see what I mean I am Seriously asking everyone who is my friend (in real life or not) to please go read this profound example of what it means to be right as a Christian.

I still so struggle in the area of logistics when it comes to the bible. When it says 'don't do this' I just think everyone should fall into place. I need to realize...God leads me to one place and others to another place. And I need to try and stop putting everyone in their place...

With Love,

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

An American Tradition

I want to share a little...eye opener with you. I am one of those freaky people who loves to study people, what they say, why they say it how they react when I ask questions about something they do. This got me to thinking...why do most people not question things? When I say "things" I mean things in general! I have asked people so when your doctor told you such and such, what does that mean or what is or why do you have to take that...they come back with "I don't know??" You should see me at the doctor, they don't like me because I don't leave unless I know the ins and outs of what they are saying. You should especially see me when I am talking to a preacher! I had one preacher come to my Grandmothers house and when I was done with him, he looked at me and said "I wish my congregation was like are looking for truth not just listening to what I say and nodding in agreement!"

Do you realize how much you do...that is just because it's tradition? I will give you a real good example: When my oldest boy Stuntman was about 1 or 2 years old a teacher handed me a book called "Good Night moon" She told me this book was a highly acclaimed book and has been since the 40's. Sounds great right? Makes you want to buy it for your baby and read it to him or her every night? I did! But then with my second baby (take into consideration I now I am a little older and not ANY wiser) I looked through that book and thought why? Why is this book so highly acclaimed? It's just a mouse saying good night to everything in it's room and window...why does that make it such a good book? Then it hit me, because someone told me it did!?!?!?!!? Huh? Don't you agree? I have seen highly acclaimed books that move people because of religion, or relationships, this book is none of that. It's just a book. So then I started thinking 'man how many things do I do in a day, just because I was told!!!!!'

Let me start by asking you these questions. Answer it in your head before you read on okay? My questions are to Christians, if someone of a another denomination (such as Catholic) came up to you and said you should celebrate such and such holiday because I say so, would you? Would you question it, it's origins, how it lines up with scripture ect.?

Well then take Christmas for instance...did you know that the Catholic Church started Christmas just to try and replace a pagan holiday? Did you know that the Tree is from that Pagan holiday? Most of you probably have a serious problem with the Catholic Church but see no reason to give up one of it's biggest lies! Why, because your momma celebrated it and her momma and so on. No one question's these things. No one seems to want to! Why? Why do we do what everyone else is doing? Most Christians I know won't celebrate Halloween because it's pagan(unfortunately they replace it with a Christian Trunk or Treat day which the scripture is very clear about this-I think it's in Jeremiah...maybe), but why then do you celebrate Christmas? Look it up, you'll see. What does Scripture say about celebrating Christ's birth? And with his death and resurrection what part of that do you need a bunny, who lays eggs (both have pagan roots I might add) We celebrate his death and resurrection daily! Not once a year...personally

I will give you another big example: Take global warming. Did you know that global warming is a theory-not a fact? The media just pulled the wool right over our eyes with their statements that sound very convincing I might add but when you study it, there statements don't hold water to truth. Did you know that many scientist have proven this global warming theory wrong? Also same goes for the THEORY OF EVOLUTION. It's just a theory(also proven wrong by several scientists! ...yet our schools (and the media) teach it as fact. Did you know that the first person to put evolution into the schools was HITLER???????? Hitler people!

Well I really could go on and on, like about over population (the world could fit into Jacksonville FL) and many religious doctrines churches teach as truth that I will save for a date when I am ready to take a beating!

So tell me what do you think? Is there anything else you could add that is an american tradition that no one questions? Please leave a comment about it-anonymously if you must. If your wanting to live in are not alone!


Monday, December 8, 2008

Su-prise Suuu-prise Su-PRISE

Well this Saturday is one I will never forget! I love my husband dearly! He is a kind, good man with so many sweet loving qualities about him. For the past few months I have been over joyed that he is still with me and cancer free! And with all these thoughts of him, a memory of when he was sick hit me about a month ago. It was one of him telling me when he got better he was going to have a big party invite everyone who was there for him while he was sick and grill steaks. Not too long after he got better (about 6 months ago) he was still so weak that he put it off, then our son had baseball (Thor was coach) and we traveled a lot, then in August he had to have his gallbladder removed and again he was weak for a month or more. Summer turned into fall and here we are 6 months later and no party. I just knew I had to step into action. What better way than a surprise party? And the devilish girl that I am I was able to get him to grill out for his own party!!!! imagine that!

I coordinated with one of his work buddies (Bill), my Mother In Law (MIL-Goldie) and Brother In Law Rick. We told Thor that we were having a birthday party for his brother at our house and we were going to grill out for him. I called and e-mailed everyone I could think of that played a major roll in my husband during his sickness (a phone call or card WAS MAJOR TO US) We were so overwhelmed with love during his surgery and chemo I wanted Thor to see he is still so loved and we are so thankful he is better...after his recovery. I know I missed calling and inviting many people but some had to go and have a baby, and others had to go and leave town! Shame on them, lol!

The theme was of course my husbands favorite past time- grilling, so I had everyone bring a side and a grilling cookbook from my amazon wish list (if they could because during these hard times no one could blame those that did not bring anything, we were just thankful they came!) We ended up with loads of family (some live nearly 3 hours away), several work buddies (even our favorite retired friend came for a few minutes with a congrats cake!) and one friend from high school who was the only person (other than parents of my husbands high school friends) that called when Thor got sick. My husband had not seen him in 10-11 years? It was the icing on the cake for my surprise party!~

My husband also ended up with 10 cook books from his favorite cooking shows, America's Test Kitchen, Steven Raichlen, Lidia's Italian-America, and Bobby Flay-needless to say that boy does not need a cook book for some time!~

My husband felt very blessed to see everyone and get to spend time with them he thanked me all weekend!-though I am pretty sure he's not fond of surprises, I think it he was more blessed by the people than the surprise of it all. That is what I wanted!

So without further ado I give you pictures of the surprise remission party for my husband.



Thors party 010

Thors party 004

Thors party 005

Thors party 002

Thors party 003

Thors party 001

Not pictured:-Sorry I was having too much fun to pick up my camera, go figure?
Dawn Thor's sister and her husband
Goldie Thor's mom
Bonnie-Thor's aunt
Donna's Husband and two cute boys!
Melody's Husband- you can sort of see him in the 6th picture down
Tim's 3 very cute boys-who had so much fun with my boys they called us to tell us!
Steve's sweet and cute boy
Abe's very loving adorable boy
Thor and I and our two boys

Monday, December 1, 2008

Kids, Dogs, Thanks, Black Friday, Football-ly

For our kids Tot school go here, and for Tween school go here other wise it's going to be a wild ride!

Okay first about my's so sad but we had to get rid of them. We thought about it for about 6 months but felt so guilty SO guilty. But now I can see where sometimes it's better for the dogs and your family to give them to a family that can take much better care of them. Now there are less fights, less stress and the dogs have a family that can give them the space they need to run around. They will be missed but we are glad they have a fun place to live and we have a peaceful and clean-er-ish home again. From now on it's animals that live outdoors or in a small cage! Good Bye Neeo and Morpheus, we will miss you!

Thanksgiving was great, I love hanging out with my family. There are so many things to be thankful for...but having my husband is at the top this year. When he got sick, I went into some sort of 'getter done' mode and emotion did not grip me that much. And if you know me I cry over EVERYTHING. I get all torn up about stupid commercials! I actually had to stop watching Extreme Home Makeover because I cry ALL the way through it! So I was shocked at my lack of loads of tears when my husband was going through so much. But now that life is back to it nice simple self I am always all choked up to have my man with me. I cry everytime I think about how close we came to losing him...and how I can't do this without him. So to sum it up I am thankful for my life with healthy kids and a wonderfully healthy husband! Life could not get any better. Well it probably could but I don't mind if it stays this way either!

Here are some other blogs that helped me remember that while I am so thankful all year long, that thanksgiving has it's purpose far beyond the amazing reason it was started. To see them go YadaYada or JenIG.

Black Friday...when some people think of this day they get all like "I ain't standing in no line for 2-4 hours for anything" and the there are some that can't wait to go and will buy anything just for the chance to shop. Me I am neither of those. My husband and I we are just dealaholics. We can't go into a store without hitting all the clearance else's. We have gotten good about hitting 4-5 stores and eating out in 2-ish hours. Most everything we own we paid less than half it's retail price and I bet most of it is 70% off or better. Being good at shopping around has afforded us the ability to get name brand stuff at Wally World's clearance prices. Which is great when it comes to yard sales because that stuff flies out of my yard so fast! Even if it's yucky, people want that name brand.

So when Black Friday comes around we can't wait to get the ads and see what good deals they will have on stuff we need. Some years the ads have nothing we want-so we don't shop just to shop. This year though it was a knife set at Kohls that hooked us! They had a $169.00 knife set for $39.00. We so needed a knife set! So we looked over the ad for other good deals that would make the trip and our time worth it. Here we are at 2:30am being such dorks, We even slept in our clothes to save time:

And this is us around 3am after we had time to wake up...sort of:

In the car by:

Okay I wish I could have brought my camera further but I don't even think pictures could have described that line! It was about 4-5 people thick and went ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE WHOLE PARKING LOT!!!!!!! It's a big parking lot!!!!! We got there right at 4am and I jumped out of the car and ran to the end of the line that started moving as soon as I got in it. As I went to go get my knifes I was like 'yeah right I will never get them with this many people.' And sure enough my first choice was gone but the second choice (which is a better choice but I wanted th other ones because they would go with all my other Kitchenaid stuff) was still there so I grabbed them and then spent the next hour 1/2 trying to find everything else and then another hour and 1/2 standing in 2 lines. One for fragrances where they told me I could not pay for my other items because it was Black Friday!!!! Lets just say if I knew that I probably would not have purchased my favorite perfume!

We got all of this stuff:

These smell so good, they are soy and huge (they look small in the pictures but the burn time is 180 hours if that give you any indication to their size-they are big!) and they were only 3 dollars! And they smell just like Yankee!

I have been looking for a chocolate down comforter that was cheap for about 3 years, this one was $25!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my favorite perfume! and for $5 more than the cost of the perfume I got all this other junk!

This came with my purchase of perfume, lucky me!-NOT-Like I don't already have 30 different versions of this game!:

These socks are so cool! And they are usually around $6-12 dollars a pair and I got 4 of them for $2 each!

And the best for last our Cusinart 14-pc cutlery set plus bonus knifes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They come with a knife sharpener and the bonus knife is some asian design knife! That is so cool! I know I am one of those weird women who actually like kitchen gifts! Strange huh!

Okay lastly Football, This sport is WAY more than it's cracked up to be, I mean the men that play it, especially the quarterback and coach and all, they are actually really smart, and talented. I had no idea what looked like a dumb brute sport actually took skill and brains to do! So most of you may have already read my BRETT I'M WITH YOU blog and of course I still am (Jets 8-4 baby!) and I have to admit I really am liking this football stuff. I hate each time they hit each other because I don't want anyone to get hurt, I REALLY DON'T! But I have to admit the skill of it, and the joy each player shows on his face is amazing. I did not realize how happy and excited men can get when they take a ball from another guy, kick the crap out of him and then run it to their side of the field. I mean they are genuinely happy! It's something I can't get over! And that is the main reason I watch football...that and my shirt says above 4 ever Favre Fan!


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